Daddy issues.

Let’s talk about daddy issues, shall we?  Especially apt at this time of the year, Autumn, when the Metal Element is at its most manifest.  

Absent fathers, abusive fathers, distant fathers, stressed out fathers, hardworking fathers, cheating fathers, fathers with two families, stepfathers, absent fathers, doting fathers, authoritarian fathers, DIY fathers.

Whoever they were, or weren’t, they have shaped your life in the most formative way.  Your relationships with men, with women, and most importantly with yourself are fundamentally shaped by them.   
Metal represents the father Chinese Medicine, ergo the kind of father we had impacts the spiritual, emotional and sometimes physical health of our Metal Element within.

If Mother represents home and hearth and unconditional love, Father represents how we interact with the world around us.  ‘He’ gives us our values, our sense of quality and (self)respect.  This element is the masculine aspect that shows judgement, discernment, that gives us our ability to leave things behind as we go forward.  Mother wants us to stay home.  Father wants us to get out there and make our mark on the world.  *but not in that dress young lady.

So if you consider your relationships with the male caregivers in your life through this lens, what does that look like for you?  Do you have a strong sense of self-respect, a healthy self-image, a comfortable relationship with intimacy, sexual pleasure, good friends around you?  Is your life one of smart-ish choices and partners who offer you their best self? 

Reaching true maturity means coming to a place in life where decisions and life choices are yours, and yours alone.  Where you are able to please yourself, properly.  This doesn’t mean not caring about the people in your life or considering them but it does mean placing your needs and desires and dreams right up there at the top, a filter for your decision making.  Doesn’t mean you always choose yourself first, but when you don’t, you are aware you are doing that. 
And guess what else it means?  It means realising that you are your own father.  Going to say that again, as its a bit wild. You are your own father.  Yes, you.  You are the one who knows what is best for you, who understands how special you are,  who knows which people are best for you, and you are your biggest cheerleader as you take the risks that move you forward and help you grow.  YOU.  

Supporting your Metal Element at this time of the year help you work with that really powerful energy, day by day, year by year, until it’s true and as instinctive to you as breathing.